Alberta Wilson
4 min readSep 16, 2020

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Sleeping Hermaphroditus, Louvre. My photo.

Motivational Liar: An expert gives a few pointers

“One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived.” Niccolò Machiavelli

I am a liar and a firm believer in Lying.

I often wonder why some believe it’s best to tell the truth. Why do people ever think others even want to hear “the Truth?” Why is truth one of those words that gets a capital T? Can anyone even tell me why someone would tell the truth for no reason. I mean, what does a person gain from that?

I’ve learned from experience that most prefer a good lie. It is so easy! And it keeps a lot of folks happy, I might add. Have you ever gotten news that made you feel great and later found it it wasn’t so? Remember how you felt when you first heard it. That’s how I make people feel.

Effective lying, though, is not a talent evenly distributed among the populace. I pride myself on creativity, a semblance of sincerity, shock value and oh — timing is essential as well.

A successful lie gives me a real sense of pride. One thing I’ve learned to steer away from without ample preparation is the elaborate lie. People get confused. A few times — very few — I’ve thrown spaghetti at the wall and it slid right down without even leaving sauce stains. Since then, I’ve viewed my lying as a benevolent act that simplifies the lives of those not as intellectually endowed as I. They rely on my lies to get through their miserable days. They expect comfort and reassurance which they get — from me and my lying self.

Some of the best lies are full of flattery and compliments, although to keep people in line, I’ll throw out an occasional, “Wasn’t that your wife?” or “I heard your dad was one of the bank robbers!” That’s more in the lie category of doubt-mongering or casting aspersion. It works. I do venture to deploy what some refer to as a bald-faced lie, such as, “Witnesses are saying that policeman was protecting the unarmed black teen he fatally shot.” It’s so directly stated and unadorned that whoever wants to believe it, does. I’ll sometimes throw in an “Am I right?”

Telling a lie does not make me wrong.

How do I take someone lying to me? Like a pro! Some have said I can’t take a lie or worse, that I am not equipped to handle the truth. The ones who say that may or may not be skilled…

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